I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
