yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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