I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
