M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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