Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
