they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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