We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
