it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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