is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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