I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it's like iHOP with fire
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
