is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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