Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
