I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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