She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
