Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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