You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
