I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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