My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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