hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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