She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
