It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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