I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
