Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
