Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
