I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
