oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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