i will never coherently bang her
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
