I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
