My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
