Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
