Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
