That's intense
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
