I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He kissed a someone with a penis
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
