i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
