The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
