Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
