What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
