Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
