if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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