last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
