i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
