You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
