I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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