all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
