I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Drake has all the answers
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
