cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
