So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
