i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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