tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Vodka?
Forever.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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