Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
